i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You can't just leave with hair like that
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Randomize
