Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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