Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
