afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
You gonna smoke this blunt? Or are you gonna keep doing Kung-fu in my kitchen?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
