she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
