Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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