i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
Randomize
