I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Randomize
