Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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