My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
