I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
