I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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