thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
