so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Randomize
