and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
