Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
He kissed a someone with a penis
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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