You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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