would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
