In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
