i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
