I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
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