i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i woke up at 5 am and found myself wrapped in christmas lights that were plugged into the wall.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
