How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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