Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
