I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
