it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Randomize
