...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
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