i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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