The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I just found puke in my bra..
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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