he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
