What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
