For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Randomize
