It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
as a side note pls kill me
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
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