ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize