You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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