I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Randomize
