I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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