his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
he had hair everywhere except his balls
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
