I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
Randomize
