How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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