I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Randomize
