why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
