My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
