you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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