the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he thought i was a dude.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
