I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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