ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
pray to the hookup gods
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Randomize
