Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Will exercising make me less horny?
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