booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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