Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
